God's Provision - God's Call

Yesterday, God provided all of these dry goods for our pantry. Cans of fruits & vegetables, tubs of peanut butter, boxes of Girl Scout Cookies, boxes of Mac & Cheese, Ramen Noodles, Pasta and much more. We are overwhelmed and humbled at God's provision.

Today, God called Max to be a chef - apparently someone needs to prepare all of that food.


And if we think this is just a coincidence, remember that in Scripture and throughout all of History, God's call and God's provision go hand in hand. O, how desperately I need to remember this! (See Reality Check post) Thank You, Lord.

Memories of Michindoh '07

Reality Check!

(Disclaimer #1: I try not to live my life based on pole results, nor did I start this BLOG in order to win any popularity contests.)
(Disclaimer #2: I have no idea where this entry is going.)
(Disclaimer #3: I have not had any desire to write for several weeks.)
(Disclaimer #4: The thoughts and views expressed below are mine alone.)
(Disclaimer #5: I already know in advance that God is teaching me through this entire process!!!!)

This adoption stuff is hard. I see my wife beaten down almost every day by ungrateful kids who continually demand more. "I want braces too, mom!" "I want a new bicycle." "Why did ________ get new shoes, and I didn't?" "I want __________!!!!" "I want ________ !" We have been asked if the honeymoon stage has come and gone... and I say, "WHAT HONEYMOON STAGE!?" It seems as soon as we got to America, our kids were full of demands. After one particular incident, I sat down with our oldest adopted son and asked where he learned so much about America, and where he learned that you can have/get anything you want in America. "Film" was his simple, one-word answer. It seems that through watching TV and videos and movies from America, the kids have come to expect that they can get and will get everything and anything they want in America. Well, not in this house you won't! Reality check! Let the attaching/bonding begin...

Parenting children from birth allowed us to shape their belief system right from the beginning. There are obviously all kinds of parenting styles in the world today. It has not been our style to raise our children to believe they are the center of the universe. We have adopted children that already had a beginning. We weren't there. We are now! Teaching and training older children to suddenly believe differently and behave differently is a full-time job. Teaching three older siblings that have a complete family history, sibling rivalry, language barrier, cultural differences, birth order shakeup, etc., make each day feel like a week. And while I struggle to work enough to pay the bills on time, my wife bears the brunt of this exhausting labor of love. She sometimes doesn't feel like it, but she is really good at this. She is really amazing. I see her heart, and I wonder how she does it. She still needs all the encouragement she can get. Reality check! Pray for Kris...

Speaking of work... Lord knows we need the revenue... thus far the medical bills are rapidly approaching $10,000. Only one of 4 minor surgeries has taken place. We haven't gotten the bill for that one yet... the bills we have seen so far are just for the assessment work and prep work. How in the world are we supposed to cover these costs? Too bad I didn't think to bring these kids in illegally... I could have saved thousands of dollars in fees - VISA, Passport, USCIS, court fees, adoption fees - and hours of time running around parking at meters to pay good money to get papers stamped and notarized and authenticated. I could have gotten tons of free medical care from what I understand as well. Looks like I missed a "golden opportunity" right there. Reality check! I am considering sending an invoice to Congress... I wonder if any of them will read this entry...

I used to think I was a decent father. I'm not so sure any longer. Why is it that I feel I am failing in almost every area of fatherhood? I remember what it felt like in athletics when some team came along and just beat the crap out of us. I remember what it felt like to get the wind knocked out of me. I remember what it felt like to lose and to lose badly. I never wanted that taste in my mouth again. I taste that right now! There are days when I really feel like I am losing. There are days when I feel like I am losing the peace and stability we once had in the house. Most days I realize that I am not doing a good job - my part - as a husband and father. I can't think of a day since we have been home that I haven't been upset with the way the kids have treated me or my wife... or someone else. I've never done real well with kids that whine and complain and disrespect parents and other adult authority figures. Reality check! I wonder when we'll taste victory again...

(Disclaimer #6: It has been over 2 weeks since I wrote the above paragraphs.)

We've had some victories lately! There's been a lot of bonding and attachment happening. Praise the Lord! I have seen God work in our family in amazing ways. God is mostly working on me. I have discovered that I am really good at paying lip service to "trusting God." How often do I say that I trust God? How often do I counsel others to trust God. How often do I model to my 7 children that I really trust God? How often do I model to Kris that I am leading this house by trusting God? Since the heat of summer has come, we are getting some good swimming in at the pool across the street. Four of the kids can swim really well... sort of like fish! Three of the kids can't at all. They cling and grab and thrash about, gasping as they barely keep their mouth above water. But I have watched each one of them start to trust me in the water a little more each time we go... and I am seeing them start to relax a little. And we know what happens when we start to relax in dad's arms. Reality check! I haven't scratched the surface on trusting God...

Father, help me relax in You... help me to clearly see and understand how much You love our family. Help me to keep my head above water. Help me curb my anger and cynicism. Help me see clearly what You are doing. Help me be a witness for You. Help me trust You more! Help me relax in You. Thank You for the food that was delivered to our house today. Thank you for the small discount on one of the recent bills. Thank You for the gift of church camp for some of our children, and Kris. Thank You for our local church body, that gives so much and cares so much and prays so much for us. Help me relax in You. Help me have meaningful conversations with the various medical providers about how we are trusting You throughout this process. Help me have meaningful conversations with Kris. Help me continue to serve our clients above and beyond their expectations. Thank You for the wonderful encouragement at the recent home-school conference. Thank You for the gift of educating our children at home. Help us figure out how to schedule and structure our school days. Help us make sure we are making You the focal point in our school and our children's education. Help me relax in You. Help me learn to trust...

A Picture Paints a 1000 Words... Two Pictures say it all!

I start my diet tomorrow!!!

You know its coming but...

In the Crusader Football program, like any good football program, the offensive coaches spend a lot of their time teaching the quarterback and the other offensive players how to recognize a blitz. Depending on game situation, you know its coming, but you just have to identify from where? Sometimes it comes from unlikely places and in ways that force an immediate decision... "Does the quarterback stand in the pocket and deliver the ball or does he scramble?"

Last Sunday afternoon, Aaron had a guitar recital and we were blessed to attend as a family... as a full family of 9! The recital was held at an assisted living facility and was packed full of piano players and guitar players, their families and friends, and residents of the facility. We had a great time, the music was wonderfully pleasant, and it was nice just to relax a little with the kids. Soon after Aaron played a sweet rendition of Amazing Grace and the recital was officially over, a sweet little 90 something summoned me over near her. It seemed that she had something she wanted to share... it was then I recognized a blitz coming!!

"What is all of this?" she asked. "All of what?" I replied. "All of this black-white stuff!" she scoffed. "Excuse me!?" I said. "What are you doing with them people?" she asked. "Why don't you leave them to their own people?" "We are their people!" I retorted. "We love them... they're our kids." "This is wrong!" she said. "You think so?" I asked. "They belong with their own people!" she said again. "What's wrong with it?" I asked. ... and then I saw the opening... "Isn't it a good thing that someone loves them? Don't you have someone that loves you? ... and as quickly as the blitz came, it was over. God allowed me to stand in the pocket.

I have no idea about the ultimate outcome of this dialogue. I don't know anything about this little 90 something that needs help getting in and out of her chair and can barely walk with a walker. I don't know what she is thinking, or what beliefs and prejudices have been dumped into her head. I don't know if anyone loves her. And then in my mind I hear Aaron playing Amazing Grace. It is only through God's amazing grace that we have the capacity to love at all. It is only by God's grace that we are able to let go of our prejudices. James 1:27 says, "This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." I don't even know her name.

Taking a Thorough Assessment

Last Friday morning, Kris and I took the three new Longs to the International Adoption Clinic for their (very thorough) health examination. Sparing you the exact details, let's just say that it was very thorough. It was nice to have an interpreter present to help explain to the kids what was happening and why mom & dad would just sit and watch these people (in white coats) poke and prod and prick. On top of that, we discovered that 2 of the 3 were in the middle of an outbreak of Chicken Pox. And then a discovery that actually encouraged us to do a really complete "spring clean" as an extra precaution. (Just in the nick of time we believe!) This morning, we completed the first round of appointments with a hearing assessment and a quick psychological evaluation. (Although he hesitated, the psychologists did not yet think Kris and I were crazy!!!) There will soon be vision tests and teeth pulling, and other assorted invasions for these kids. While driving back home afterwards I got to thinking... this whole adoption thing is absolutely amazing! How do we explain to the kids that we are doing this because we love them and we want to properly care for them. It's not as if we will send them back if we find something that's unpleasant! Actually, that will just help us love them more. And then it hit me...How God uses this real life analogy to teach me more about Him. He is truly Amazing!

You see, years ago God adopted me into His family. Before the adoption was complete, and in His own way, He had done a very thorough assessment and He knew what I was full of. He loved me too much to leave me in that condition, and even though I did not completely understand what was happening, He started the process of "spring cleaning" in me. I was full of parasites and other things the world had to offer and they were all eating away at my insides. But God had compassion on me... He wasn't doing this to see if I was worth keeping... He had already made up His mind that He was keeping me! That was planned long before I was ever in my mother's womb. The adoption was final and God was not surprised with what He found in me... I'm thinking He expected it to be there. He was big enough to deal with it and get it out. His plan included that as well... in fact, it included full health and complete restoration!

In the adoption world, "Disruption" is the word used to describe an adoption gone bad. An example of a disruption would be when the new parents decide (for whatever reason) that they no longer want this new child (children) in their home and they change their minds. While the adoption was final, it really wasn't, and the kid (kids) are once again removed from a home only to be placed in another... hopefully... maybe.

And so you see what God is teaching me through all of this. God doesn't disrupt! Ever! When He brings someone into His family... and all come through adoption now... He never ever disrupts. He has promised to be our Father forever. He has promised to meet our every need. He loves us and has compassion on us in spite of the junk inside of us. He continually pours out His grace and mercy on us even though we don't always follow His ways. For me, this builds hope and strength and courage and peace and stability. This allows me to flourish and develop as I am meant to develop. God is forever cleaning me and washing me and caring for me! He is an AWESOME Father! I pray all 7 of our kids find that hope and strength and courage and peace and stability that comes through the Father.

Do you know Him? Have you experienced His love and affection? Even though you might need a little cleaning right now, have you allowed Him to speak to you about your potential in Him. Do you trust Him? Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me." There's an ADVOCATE that helps in your adoption... Have you allowed Him to wash you clean? Is it time for a thorough assessment?

Back to Work in the Basement

Now that we are getting settled... at least we think we are getting settled... it is back to work on some home projects started before the trip. Although Aaron has been in his new bedroom for several weeks by now, we still have lots of work to do to finish out the rest of the basement for our new rec room. I'm getting bored with the whole thing, so I thought I would bring in a new construction team to help. The picture below sums it all up!

True Confessions about the Bottom Line

Okay, it is time for me to get "real." By vocation, God has me in the marketplace as a business consultant, trainer and executive coach helping bring a solid, biblical foundation to people and organizations so that they can discover the true purpose of their lives and businesses. At some point in the relationship, I always get some form of the question... "Yes, I understand that is what God says, but what about the bottom line?" Along the way, it seems that God has blessed many of these clients with an increased bottom line... AND with increased peace and time and balance and hope and faith and trust. For some the results have been truly miraculous and mind-boggling. So what does this have to do with adoption and our family?

I can only speak for myself - not my wife, or any other person (husband or wife, dad or mom) that might be considering adoption. Somewhere we have to take into consideration the "bottom-line." If your household is anything like my household, you don't have $20,000 or $30,000 or $40,000 just lying around taking up space, waiting to be invested in adoption costs. I didn't have the bottom-line I "needed" to afford these kids a new home and a new chance at life. I was working to provide for and meet the needs of the 4 already at home.

Adoption is not cheap. It comes with a high cost. And the bottom-line is that those costs continue to increase once the adoption fees are paid. Bottom-line is that getting them home is not even close to half the financial struggle. My wife has a favorite saying... "Life is expensive!" The reality of adoption... "Adoption is expensive!" ... and it is just a part of our life. Bottom-line is that there are 7 kids in our house that need a chance at life... (Not all that life has to offer since so much of what life has to offer is undesirable...) but a chance at life nonetheless. Of course, we are only in the early stages of our adopted kids joining our bio kids at home. It will only get more expensive. School assessments and curriculum (we home school), dental appointments, doctor appointments, gas, groceries, water bills, toilet paper, hair care products (I'm thinking random head shavings could become common practice!!), did I mention bananas by the bunches, the list goes on. And the bottom-line is that all of this has to be paid for with actual currency of some sort. I actually get upset every now and again at just how much it does cost to live in this world and raise a family.

But God... I so much love the many passages of Scripture that start out this way... You see, the bigger bottom-line is that God is able. God knows it is not cheap and God knows that it will only get more expensive. There are no secrets with God. God knows that most of us do not have the finances for adoption costs collecting dust in the corner of our dresser. Bottom-line is that I am not able to provide for 7 children... But God! Bottom-line is that (this is real to Kris and I) we had absolutely no way to come up with the upfront costs for adoption... But God! Bottom-line is that I have no idea how we will afford these kids moving forward... But God! Bottom-line is that God has never made a calling on anyone's life without first having made provision for that calling. Who does God borrow from? God owns the cattle on a thousand hills... God knows all of His children by name... God knows and has named the stars that He hung in Heaven. God will use any means He desires to make the provision for the adoption you are considering.

Bottom-line - I was correct and am still correct... I have no way to pay for or afford this adoption and I have no way to continue to meet the financial needs that are coming. But God! Bottom-line... neither do you, and if you let that stop you, you will fall into the same trap that so many have fallen into that will leave nothing done in the life of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 children. God is in the business of growing His children, and generally that means that I need to learn to trust Him more. And that's the bottom-line!

Turning 7 and 911

Today was full of activity, as everyday has been thus far. We had house projects to start/complete! We had lots of beautiful sunshine to enjoy! We had lots of family activities going on all day. Two significant items stand out...

1) Our sweet Kate turned 7 years old today. What a day it was for her. Two new brothers and a new sister that she just met last Saturday for the first time. It doesn't seem that long ago that we first met Kate when the doctor handed her to us. What a joy she is! The party included Grandma and Aunt Kelly & Uncle Charlie, and a friend from next door. Chicken grilled just right and hamburgers also. Ice cream cake - 2 more friends joined in with us for this part - and everyone signing happy birthday. What a day!

2) Joseph is learning his numbers somewhat. He was attempting some math earlier in the week. It seems he is a quick learner- today he was playing with the phone and punching in some numbers much like one would do on a calculator. Immediately after he placed the phone on the table, it rang back, so I answered. The 911 operator asked me about the emergency that was just called in! It seems that she was not able to understand our little Ethiopian who had just dialed 911!!!! After explaining the situation and telling her how sorry we were, Kris had to repeat the same story for the nice policeman when he arrived. I think the math lesson was very effective. He appears ready to move ahead with the next lesson.

Home Again... First Days

Here are a few pictures of our first days back home. God has been so faithful with our safe travels and new adjustments. And we have the reassurance that He will no stop being faithful anytime soon!

Top to Bottom:

• Joseph beside his new bicycle - he couldn't wait to ride it and learned how in about 15-20 minutes. Now he's off around the block 15-20 times a day!
• Jenna is helping Brooke on Max's new bike. Be patient my child... it will come!
• Former little sister turned big sister Kate holds her napping little brother, Max
• Ellie and Max as his Sunday afternoon nap continued. Lucky guy!
• Aaron gives Brooke a ride as Joseph investigates his new surroundings.
  

If I can get this video thing figured out, I will be posting some video soon to share more of what our first days have looked (and sounded) like. Meals have been an adventure, not knowing what foods the little ones will eat, and not knowing for sure how to communicate that they must try what Kris places in front of them. Joseph as been a tremendous helper as his English is good enough to help us in this way. We are working to establish and settle into a routine. Be patient my children... it will come! (God keeps reminding me... He must know about my patience, or lack thereof.) Blessings to all!