Monday, March 31, 2008

Post Adoption Depression - The Prideful will Fall

The words came as a complete shock. "I think you may be dealing with Post-Adoption Depression, " Kris said. "No way," I thought! In my typical manner, I ignored my wife's counsel and set in motion several months of the worst emotional experience of my life. I loved my kids... all of them. The old ones and the new ones. What was wrong with me? We just needed to get through this tough time and everything would be great... Listen Up... Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS) is real!!!

I was short with the kids. I was short with Kris. I was stressed out all the time. I walked around our house with a complete heaviness about me. Everybody suffered. I should have been enjoying all of the "newness" of our family... our "New Normal"... but I wasn't normal. I was distant. I wasn't bonding at the same rate as Kris and the kids. As already stated, I loved them all... I just couldn't keep myself from being stressed out all the time. I couldn't handle what had happened to our beautiful family, and I couldn't handle what had happened to me. The Bible says that pride comes before the fall, and I was falling. It seemed like I was falling for months. Why didn't I seek help? Why didn't I acknowledge Kris's words? So much pain could have been avoided. So much time and energy could have been invested wisely. So many little issues could have been resolved so quickly. But Pride has a way of taking you off track... and I was off track!

But God has brought me around. Much progress has been made. I love my kids, and I really, truly enjoy them. I am bonding with them more all the time. It will soon be a year that our seven children met for the first time. I can't wait to celebrate with them and Kris.

Guys, Husbands, Dads... don't be like me. Don't think you are above PADS. Listen to your wife - she knows! God has brought her to you as a helper. Use her words to wake yourself up to the help you need. (I didn't!) Be patient as you trust God to bring you through. (I didn't even ask Him for help.) He can do it and He will. He wants those kids fully attached to their earthly father so they can experience the love and the nurture and the strength they need to face the world one day. In doing so, they will get a picture of their Heavenly Father that will be accurate and good and right. After all, that's why He placed them in your family.

The following link takes you to an article that can give you some more insight...