What a year!

What a difference a year can make! On April 14th, we celebrated our one year anniversary of landing in America with our three adorable children from Ethiopia. Wow! I remember the look on our children's faces when we first met them at the CWA care center. I remember watching them board the plane for America. I remember watching the look on our bios as they met their new siblings for the first time. From there, the last year is a little bit of a blur.

We started our blog to communicate to loved ones back home during our trip to pick up the kids, and now we feel it is time to post our last post. It has been a good year... a challenging year... a year in which we have seen God provide in magnificent ways... a year of growth... a year of increased trust in the Lord... a year of answered prayer. We are so very thankful that so many have joined us in this journey. Adoption is forever, and we will continue to enjoy our journey. We covet your prayers and thank you for tuning in over the last year. Who knows... maybe someday we will resurrect this blog site with the next significant movement of God in the Long Household. Until then, we will leave you with a few pictures... Many Blessings!

Post Adoption Depression - The Prideful will Fall

The words came as a complete shock. "I think you may be dealing with Post-Adoption Depression, " Kris said. "No way," I thought! In my typical manner, I ignored my wife's counsel and set in motion several months of the worst emotional experience of my life. I loved my kids... all of them. The old ones and the new ones. What was wrong with me? We just needed to get through this tough time and everything would be great... Listen Up... Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS) is real!!!

I was short with the kids. I was short with Kris. I was stressed out all the time. I walked around our house with a complete heaviness about me. Everybody suffered. I should have been enjoying all of the "newness" of our family... our "New Normal"... but I wasn't normal. I was distant. I wasn't bonding at the same rate as Kris and the kids. As already stated, I loved them all... I just couldn't keep myself from being stressed out all the time. I couldn't handle what had happened to our beautiful family, and I couldn't handle what had happened to me. The Bible says that pride comes before the fall, and I was falling. It seemed like I was falling for months. Why didn't I seek help? Why didn't I acknowledge Kris's words? So much pain could have been avoided. So much time and energy could have been invested wisely. So many little issues could have been resolved so quickly. But Pride has a way of taking you off track... and I was off track!

But God has brought me around. Much progress has been made. I love my kids, and I really, truly enjoy them. I am bonding with them more all the time. It will soon be a year that our seven children met for the first time. I can't wait to celebrate with them and Kris.

Guys, Husbands, Dads... don't be like me. Don't think you are above PADS. Listen to your wife - she knows! God has brought her to you as a helper. Use her words to wake yourself up to the help you need. (I didn't!) Be patient as you trust God to bring you through. (I didn't even ask Him for help.) He can do it and He will. He wants those kids fully attached to their earthly father so they can experience the love and the nurture and the strength they need to face the world one day. In doing so, they will get a picture of their Heavenly Father that will be accurate and good and right. After all, that's why He placed them in your family.

The following link takes you to an article that can give you some more insight...
http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Post-Adoption-Depression---The-Unacknowledged-Hazzard/53

Speaking of Life Saving Interventions

Formerly, I was on a path to destruction. Relationships that weren't Godly. Activities in my life that did not honor the Lord. I already claimed to be a Christian, but I sure wasn't having a daily walk with the Lord. But God...

God brought into my life and allowed me to marry Kris. He used Kris to teach me and correct me and bless me. I remember sitting in the Living Room five years ago and giving Kris back to the Lord the night before she went in to receive her Pacemaker. Her mother was there. Her sister was there. Our four children were there. We were confident about how God was going to answer our prayers, and how He was going to fulfill the calling He had placed on her life.

This last week, we gathered around Kris again. And this time it was to celebrate. She turned 39 again last week. Her mother was there. Her sister was there. All of our seven children were there. It wasn't anything fancy... Kris doesn't do fancy... but it was special nonetheless. And the coolest thing is... God is still fulfilling His calling on Kris's life, and we are still the beneficiaries of that calling.











I don't know how you do it, Kris. You were meant to be a mom. Of all the people I get to meet, you are by far, the one that is living the life God created you to live. You are a wonderful mom and a great gift to our children! And I thank God for you...

Five Years

This months marks the five year anniversary of the greatest birthday gift I've ever received. Some girls love diamonds, others chocolate - but me?....The best birthday gift I ever got was my pacemaker.


I lived 25 years of my live with a rather troubling heart issue that could not be solved. As scary as it was, I just assumed that I would never know this side of heaven, what was wrong with me. But to my great surprise, February 2, 2003 the issue was identified and 48 hours later I was the proud owner of my very own titanium pacemaker. Happy Birthday to me.


Tonight I was reading my friend Patrick's blog. It appears they have a five year anniversary of their own to remember. This would be an anniversary of much different kind. On February 11, 2003 Patrick and his wife Jennifer held their 10 month old daughter as she died.

This is a pain that I hope to never understand.

It does cause me to wonder... Why does God need some of us here and some of us there? That He would choose to preserve my life as wife and mother and meanwhile call a lamb home right out of the arms of her parents?

I have always said that would take physical pain any day over emotional pain. The first is over when it's over. The second drags on forever. Because He is the Master weaver and His plan is sovereign and perfect there is peace that can be found in the midst of pain. Patrick and Jen have that peace - their lives are a living testimony of God's healing power.

I have a new sense of appreciation for this pacemaker in my chest. It is a constant reminder of God's intervention in my life.

Sisters

When Brent and I first started thinking about having children I dreamed of having four boys. I felt pretty confident that is what God would give us so when Aaron was born and the doctor said "IT'S A BOY!" I said "Of course it is."

A year and a half later, when the doctor said "IT"S A GIRL!" I was in shock. What would I do? What would her name be? I don't like pink! Oh, it was an interesting time.

The only thing I knew at that moment was that this baby girl would need a sister.

Sisters are one of God's greatest gifts to me. I have two of them and my relationship with my sisters cannot be explained - it can only be experienced. We can have intimate conversations without having to explain details of our lives. We understand each other unlike any other relationship on earth. My daughter would need this.

"IT'S A GIRL!" said the doctor three years later. "Of course it is" I responded.

One of my greatest pleasures is to watch my girls (4 of them now!) together. They really enjoy each other and it is exciting to watch them grow in their relationships. One of my famous lines when I see them off giggling together is..."I love sisters."

In honor of sisters.........

3 sisters holding 3 sisters
(pre-adoption photo)



My pioneer girls

The Truth About Birthdays

Max just had his first American birthday. He thinks it was also his last. It is so interesting to me when I discover things we assume the kids understand. Who would have thought I would need to explain that a person has LOTS of birthdays - one every year, in fact.

Max didn't know that. He was so very excited about his special day - but before the day was even half over he got real sad. I asked him what was wrong and he said "Tomorrow is not my birthday." I said "No sweetheart, but TODAY is your birthday and we still have your party tonight!" Max sadly retorted, "But then no more birthdays."

I explained the way birthdays work. He was quite relieved to know the truth. It also cleared up for him how everyone else got to be so old. We had noticed that he was very confused about that. He would ask different siblings throughout the week..."Jenna, how do you get to be 12?" He is so happy to know that he will get to be 12 one day, too.

We are blessed to be able to make such a fuss on birthdays. In so many other parts of the world they have much bigger things to worry about than remembering the day a child was born.

In honor of our five year old I will attempt to limit myself to five things I love about Max:

1. Max is hilarious. I have no idea how he comes up with his stuff but he keeps us in stitches

here.

2. Max is teachable. He wants to obey and please us - when he needs corrected he gets

quiet, drops his head, sheds a tear or two, nods his head, and obeys.

3. Max has a smile that lights up the room.

4. Max loves books. He memorizes his favorites and recites parts of them throughout the

day.

5. Max is thriving in a family. It is plain to see that he enjoys the benefits of being the

youngest, but he still wants us to "get a baby" from Ethiopia.

Some fun photos of our yummy 5 year old...

Love Hurts

Many of you know that it is our Brooke who has struggled the most with losing her birth home, parents and previous life. She has grieved and we have greived for her. The other night when I was kissing her goodnight we had a very sweet conversation.

Brooke: "Mom, I wish I was in your tummy when I was a baby."

Mom: "You do? Why Honey?"

Brooke: "Because then I wouldn't miss my Ethiopia mom."


How does her six year old brain think of such things? It makes me love her more which I did not think possible. She is learning, at too young of an age, that love can be very painful.

Expectations

This is how we envisioned school at our house when we set the room up last August.

In reality this is how school looks most days.



Expections are so often not met. It was not realistic for me to think I was ever going to be able to have 7 kids work quietly at a single table doing school all morning.

The greatest thing is that although expectations are often not fullfilled, they are often exceeded. When I get my perspective right (this often needs to be self-corrected) and look around, I am tickled by what I see. Two kids doing school work under the table. (who said the "on" was better than "under"?) Two kids cuddled together reading. One man-boy happily improving his typing skills. Yet two others finding a quiet spot in their bedroom. (no pictures because I actually didn't know where they were until too late.)

Then there are the times when I feel like nothing is getting done. This happens more often than I care to admit. Again, when I take a step back and evaluate what is going on - even then I am often not dissapointed.

Here are some "out takes" from our home school days gone by....

This is what happens when you let two ornry boys go off alone for "Buddy Time." (Those are Aaron's pants that Max is "wearing".)



These beautiful ladies were having some quiet reading time and instead got a complete make over.





Joseph has had a rude awakening about family dynamics when he became a younger brother. As Aaron puts it..."I have waited 13 years to do this!" Unfortunately, I have to break them up to get back to business at least once a day.

While expectations are good - flexibility is better...especially when you are a homeschooling family of nine.

Christmas Time!

Wow - What happened? Was that Christmas? Oh, yes the paper fog has lifted and I can nearly see through the piles of new treasures that have found their way into our home. To think if we didn't limit ourselves to three gifts per child....

Christmas was wonderful - as was expected. I love Christmas at our house. It has always been a great low-key day considering it is - well...Christmas. This year we even added three children, three stockings, and nine more gifts under the tree but managed to keep the energy level satisfactory.

Brent's family is out of town and we get to celebrate with them at a later date. My family is quite small - only two sisters, one of whom lives too far away and the other who gets to bring her husband over for the morning fun. My mom is a welcomed staple at family gatherings and I am the luckiest girl I know in that she is a wonderful guest. She has never said anything but supportive and uplifting things about the condition of my home, my children, or my food. Thanks so much for that, mom.

Hope your Christmas was wonderful, too.

Zeros

I have been having some fun with Ellie's math lately.

Math is an area that I lack not only interest but also experience. We use what I think to be the greatest math curriculum of all time, Math-U-See and I am really understanding math concepts for the first time! (A+ for Kris!)

Last week Ellie was learning how to write enormous numbers in place value notation. I "learned" at an early age to be very intimidated by lots of zeros - and I saw Ellie beginning to feel the same way. I don't want my daughters growing up thinking math is for boys - or that is it is something to fear, so I pretended to be excited about it. Getting excited about it meant that I needed to be darn sure that I understood how to do it, too.

And so my story begins.................... After a week of practicing this concept I found myself "thinking" in terms of place value notation.


For instance:
*There are 10+2 months in the year.
*I spent 100+40+7 dollars at the toy store last week.
*There are 100,000+80,000+6,000+300+50+2 miles on our van.


And here is the kicker:
* There are 4,000,000 +600,000 orphans in Ethiopia.

That is a lot of zeros. I was sitting at the eye doctor the other day waiting for my daughter's appointment to be over and my mind was thinking of the 4,000,000 + 600,000 orphans in Ethiopia. I wondered if other people get intimidated by lots of zeros like I used to. Do people really understand HOW MANY children that is - living without families? No mom or dad? No home or bike or dog? I started to break the number down into more palatable increments.


I thought to myself...suppose there were only 9 orphans? Or maybe 60+2 orphans? What if in my neighborhood, or city, state, there were 800+30+7 orphans? That is a ton of children growing up with out the love of a family. But in Ethiopia there are so many orphans that the reality gets lost in all of the zeros. I wondered if people would help more if there were actually fewer. Maybe if people could wrap their brain around a number it would be more real? I don't have the answer - I was just wondering.

My fun with 3rd grade math concepts has made me even more grateful for the three beautiful, smart, funny, happy children that have joined our family this year. I thank our God of miracles that they are no longer one of the zeros.


This photo was taken the day our children learned they had a family waiting for them in America.